On the Upcoming Massive Increase in Old Age Loneliness in Western Countries
Almost two decades ago, I was in my early 20s and often used public transit. One of the bus routes, used frequently by me, went near a couple of large old age residential care facilities in that city. Hence, I often saw those who working in those facilities (almost exclusively non-white women) and those residing in them (mostly old white women). Over a couple of years of taking that route, overhearing conversations and just looking around it became obvious that the vast majority of people in that facility seldom received any family visitors. Over time, it became obvious that many in these facilities had sparse interaction with their families even before they moved to those facilities. Over the first few years of living in this country, I noticed that this chronic loneliness in old age was the rule, not the exception.
As some of you might know, I grew up in an affluent part of India and it was almost inevitable for me to start comparing both societies to each other. While I do not claim that one society is much better than the other, it is hard to ignore that some societies are better are solving certain problems than others. Which brings me to the issue of quality of life in old age. In this area, the collective west (not just USA) suck- which becomes a serious problem because of the rapidly increasing median age along with shape of demographic profile in those countries. While some of you might say that this is a problem for all developed countries, this is clearly not the case and old people in Japan or even some Mediterranean countries such as Italy, Greece etc have far less lonelier and more socially engaged lives than their counterparts in USA or Sweden.
But what, you might ask, is the basis of my assertion that the problem is going to get much worse in most western countries in upcoming two decades? To understand that, let me tell you a little story. See.. in my teens, me and my father would often go for an evening walk around the area where we lived. There was a busy and well-maintained park where we often stopped to take a break from walking. The park was frequented by everybody from children, their parents to their grand-parents. Since we often sat at the same spot, it was easy to notice regulars. A group of retirees, often accompanied by their grandkids who were playing, frequently sat within earshot of us. Based on overhearing their conversations, it seems that many knew each other for years.
However it was clear that all had active social lives beyond gathering in the park. I often overheard about their long-term trips to visit children living in other parts of India or, sometimes, western countries. Other times, they talked about their recent meeting or dinner with some other long-term acquaintance, their in-laws and other relatives. My point is that multi-generational living in a society where people still retain and cherish a multitude of real-life relationships provides a far more satisfying and normal existence in old age than sitting in front of the TV or playing bingo a couple of times each month. These retired people in India were solidly middle-class with a decent standard of living and yet they had tons of relatives, friends and casual acquaintances. I am not saying their lives were perfect, but they were clearly in a much better place than their equivalents in western countries.
So what was the single biggest factor behind their busy social lives? Well.. they had kids and grand-kids, who they almost always lived with. A lot of the other stuff which improved their social lives, such as friends and acquaintances came from living in a society where almost everyone had children and was not monomaniacally obsessed with material wealth. This is not to say that people in such societies are destined to be poorer. Just look at Japan or any other east-Asian country. My point is that there is a correlation between living in a society almost exclusively based on a materialist view of world and low fertility in addition to chronic loneliness. While Japan suffers from part of this problem, it has enough of its traditional social structure to considerably reduce the impact and effects of chronic loneliness in old age.
The same cannot be said about this country and most others in the West. As many of you known, the median fertility rates for Gen-Xers, Millennials etc are even lower than their parents- which were themselves close to replacement. To make matters worse, the precipitous decline in job and career stability, decline in rates of marriage and general atomization of these societies makes them even more likely to produce a massive increase in number of chronically and severely lonely old people on the next two decades. While I am sure that corporations run by delusional bean-counters from “prestigious” universities will try to monetize this need, it is guaranteed that all such attempts will be pathetic and noxious simulacra of the real thing. The situation with FakeBook and Boomers gives you a preview about just how badly it will work out.
What do you think? Comments?